Although they mean well, it can be difficult to deal with your family and friends at a time when you may be feeling overwhelmed yourself. There are a couple of things that you can do to make these interactions a little easier.
Dealing with Family and Friends
Family and friends are a blessing, but dealing with them can take some of your precious energy. They will want to help but may not be sure what to do. Tell them! If having someone bring over a meal or watch your other kids will help you out, ask them. Most of them will be delighted to help out.
Designate a Point Person
It is usually a joyous occasion to inform family and friends of your new arrival. However, when you are dealing with the news that the baby has Down syndrome, it may be too difficult for you to tell the news over and over. It can also be hard to answer other people’s questions.
One way around this is to designate a point person. This person — a close friend or relative — will have the job of telling everyone how you and the baby are doing, and answering all of the questions that they may have. Having to deal with one person is much easier than dealing with all of your friends and family members at a time when you may be easily overwhelmed.
Modeling reactions
Family and friends are often confused about how they should react to the news that your baby has Down syndrome. They will take their cue from you. If you are upbeat and matter-of-fact, they will be too. Before long, they will love your new arrival as much as you do.
While it is beneficial to be a positive and upbeat as possible, it may just not be how you are feeling all the time. While modeling a positive reaction will help others, it is important not to deny or bury your own grief — just pick who you are going to share it with carefully.
Getting Back to Normal
Sometimes friends and family can overwhelm you with kindness. While this is an enviable position to be in, it can present its own challenges. Remember, if you need time to yourselves, it is perfectly okay to say so. Gently tell people that you are doing okay and want to get back to your routines. Tell people that you will call if you need help and thank them for their efforts, but be firm in asking them for some time alone.
SOURCES:
Cunningham, C. (1999). Understanding Down syndrome: An introduction for parents (2nd ed.). Cambridge, MA: Brookline.
Stray-Gunderson,Karen. [I[]Babies with Down Syndrome: A New Parents' Guide Woodbine House. 1995
